Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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