ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I feel like death gave me a hand job
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
