Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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