these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
