Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
