He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
