I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
