Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
