Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
