Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
