hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
