I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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