If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
