ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
