My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
