i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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