More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
this just has baby written all over it
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
