My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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