On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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