very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
