woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
