i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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