***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
