Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
