Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
