We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
