remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize