i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Randomize
