your room smells of hookers.
And success
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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