Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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