idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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