I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
