You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
