well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
