Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
