I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
