i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just found puke in my bra..
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
