Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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