Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize