what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
