after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
