woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
