Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
