Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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