whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
