Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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