Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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