All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
