I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
