It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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