I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
