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No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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