does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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