Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Randomize