i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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