In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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