I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
