the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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