Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
